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An Ode to KarlSweet Dreams and Fine Machines in Pieces on the Ground December 23 Today, I Met a Man Who Threw His Arms Around MeThey say pictures are worth a thousand words. In the case of this entry, that means I don't have to say a damn thing! These are the people who are rocking my world at the moment at work, on course, or at the workshop. Love ya'll.
Richy, you are an exception because you are in Timor at the moment and I don't have any pics of you on this computer. You send me one and I'll include it. Love you too, see you soon! Cheers bro!
Course
Work
Workshop
October 15 I'm Not Living, I'm Just Killing Time
When was the last time you actually looked at yourself? I mean really looked? I look at myself all the time, but not like tonight. The above picture is one taken just over two months ago in August. I told a friend tonight that it breaks my heart to think that if I could go back to this day, I would, in a heartbeat. It sure is amazing to think how fast two months has gone by. So much has happened, I have met so many people. I am not the same person then as I am now. Just like the time that has past, so have the people I once knew, or thought I knew, they have come and gone. What do I know? I know that usually if you ignore someone for long enough, they eventually go away. Or find something better to do, somewhere to go, new people to meet. What you once thought you wanted turns out to be the very last thing you've ever hoped for. Not in the case of my life. Someone leaves, someone always leaves and they are replaced and sometimes forgotten about. It's like there is a long line of people in front of me and someone steps out of that line, but only for a moment. They look at me and possibly say a few unaudible words, until they step back into form and then the line keeps moving again. Just like that, they are gone. If I could go back to that day of that picture of me and Karl at the beach, I would. There would have been more time for me to spend with Richard when he came home for two weeks to see me before he went away with the army for six months. And there definitely would have been more long nights at the gym, talking it up with friends, and certainly, more glamor shots of Karl besides the pitiful handful I got from the Show and Shine. Which by the way, I won second place in. I would throw it all away just to know everything turned out like it should have. Earlier tonight, if you had asked me how I felt, I would have told you absolutely fantastic. But now, as another person leaves my life, one in which was there for me, but I never actually got to know or meet in person, I feel completely different than what I did a couple of hours ago. It's such a precious thing - meeting people is easy. It truly is, but the key is keeping them in your life. Trying to convince someone they have feelings for you is not only kidding yourself, but totally disregarding everything you have ever stood for. All I have now from the past two months is five pictures. Along with only vague memories of people I've met, laughed with and even possibly tried to love. Places I've been and things I've been shown, all happened, but I have nothing because someone always leaves. I want everyone who knows me who reads this now, I want you to know that I do care. I am there for you no matter what you or I have said. I want you to be there when I get my next tattoo. I want you to be there when for when my master trainer course finishes. And I want you to be there for the next time I think I have found someone who means something in my life and it turns out just like every other time. I'd like everyone who is reading this now to take a look at your life, the people in it, and the people who once were. They all mean so much, regardless of what happened or how it all ended up. My life is brilliant because of the people I have met. There is not much else I can tell you. Dave, this one is for you. Good luck in London. And now, I present you with the other four pictures that sum up the past two months of my life, from all I can remember of it.
August 15 A Tribute to the BestI have decided that I should create a timeline for Karl. At this point, he will be going to the body shop on Monday to get:
1) Mirror tint on the windows - 20%
2) Bumper repaired
3) Stress lines that have formed in the doors since the respray need to be repaired
4) Rust bubble cut out of the right fender
Tomorrow it will be exactly one month until the annual BMW Club Show and Shine, and this will give me some extra confidence in actually getting anywhere this year. As I wasn't sure what to expect last year, this year I am equipped with a poster presentation about Karl's specs and complete with pictures. There are a few BMW 2002 specific books that I will be including I also have a "good luck charm", a Vintage at the Vineyards 2007 grille badge curtosy of Tim Jones from the 2002FAQ Forum. I have also collected many friendly car photos and Christmas cards that have been kindly sent to us over the past months, which will promote Karl at the show. Needless to say our status is thanks to many of you who are reading this entry now - Thank you! Me and Karl are really excited about the upcoming month and look forward to donating our appreciation to all of you who are our close friends if and when we are presented with the 1st place trophy at the show.
As most of you will know, Karl arrived into our family on June 29th, 2004. His production date or "birthday" is May 5th, 1975. This year for his 32nd birthday he received a complete exterior respray, but this did not include under the hood in the engine bay or inside the truck area etc. I will begin my timeline starting with the very first two photos of Karl that were taken of him upon pick-up. From there, I will proceed to explain each photo up until the most current one. I hope you all enjoy!
June 29th,2004 - Karl was not even known as Karl yet. Originally a car my dad always wished to own, here he is before adding a new hood roundel and wheel stickers. Although this is as early as his history goes in my family, he may look good in these photographs, but alas, I was yet to discover that looks can be deceiving!
December 26th, 2004 - After only holding my driver's license which allowed me to drive on my own for a little over two months, I had my first accident. A man had run a red light and smashed into Karl going approximately 60km/h. Karl was off the road for exactly two months and two days before he was fixed and returned to me. This event was one that catylized my love for Karl and began my obsession to make him better. Little did I know what I was actually getting myself into!
August 2005 - The first known picture of me and Karl together.
May 2006 - As the year of 2005 was all about experimenting and learning what Karl has to offer, there is not much photo documentation of Karl and me. This photo was taken on the exact same day I joined in on the fun at www.bmw2002faq.com as Biscuit3! I like to think Karl and I both look a little different than what we did on this day!
June 2006 - Karl began to get rusty really quick! So off to the same panel beater that fixed him up after the crash, he went! This was also at the same time Karl got a transmission overhaul and a new set of tires. I was a little out of pocket during this time, but it was all worth it!
This was Karl upon arriving home, but unfortunately, he still wasn't done!
July 2006 - After starting a job at Hooters when it had first opened in Sydney, I had plenty of money to play around with. This idea was the first that entered my mind.
August 2006 - Still with a steady cash flow behind me, I decide to buy Karl a new carburettor after his stock Solex had been overhauled twice. Karl got a Weber DGAV, automatic choke water operated carburettor along with a brand new K&N air cleaner set-up. Karl was at the mechanic for a little over a month and in that time it was concluded that Karl had a blown head gasket and had had one since we've had him - for over two years! That was also fixed up and Karl was on his way!
On the left side is Karl's stock carby set-up, and on the right was how he looked upon completion.
September 2006 - Karl is signed into my name and I become the offical owner! Along with this, he gets new license plates, KAR-02L, which commemorate his name and model number.
That same month, the boyfriend I was seeing at the time who worked at the workshop I frequent wanted to join in on the BMW 2002 experience. He bought this little gem off a man in Victoria for $2,000. It was a 1973 model, with round tail lights and a four speed manual transmission. Not much was done to this car, "Bertie" while it was in his hands and earlier this year, he sold it to a friend.
October 2006 - This is Karl's glamor shot from the BMW Club NSW Show and Shine 2006. There were four BMW 2002's at the event including Karl and I am sorry to say that we got last place. Ten hours worth of cleaning and I still wasn't done!
November 2006 - Karl discovers the magic of the BMW 2002 parts dealer, 2002AD. Featured in his first order from the company is a "2002" script. After replacing the original, the original script is relocated to the front grille, an effect that is highly admired. At this time, Karl was also equipped with a set of U.S. spec sealed beam headlights. Although they looked very shiny, they were not suited for Karl and ultimately, two months later were taken out and replaced with factory parts.
December 2006 - Karl goes back to the panel beater to get the hood and trunk resprayed, and chrome stripping around the body replaced.
This new look inspired Karl to become "badass".
April 25th, 2007 - Karl and I celebrate an Australian holiday called Anzac Day, a little different this year. After two weeks of straight heavy rain, Karl was completely flooded on both the driver's and passenger's side. As my parents decided to go camping for the weekend, that left an open spot in the garage for Karl, and the rehabilitation had begun! Karl was left a whole day with a mini heater inside of him to help dry the interior out which helped tremendously. The next day, I went through the entire engine bay to find leaks where the rain had come in. That night, as the rain had settled, Karl and I embarked on a journey to Sydney Olympic Park where the 2000 Olympics were held. For some reason the roads were blocked that night and it turned out to be a perfect photo opportunity. This photo is titled "Champ"; I still get misty everytime I look at it.
May & June 2007 - On May 5th, Karl turns 32. For his birthday, he goes back to the panel beater for a complete exterior respray. He is gone for three weeks. A few weeks after his return, I decided to do something I have been meaning to do for almost over a year - get rid of those ugly square fog lights! Which I did and it seems as though with their deletion, it completed Karl's new look.
June 29th saw our three year anniversary and I bought him a pair of xenon HID headlights with 6000K brightness. Finally, we can see in the dark!
August 2007 - Karl at the beach, a place he will be seeing a lot of this year. Currently, Karl waits for his return to the panel beater which will hopefully will be his last for a long time.
Teamwork!
December 04 Karl is What You Make HimIt's that time again. Time to start thinking of the projects I'd like to get under way with Karl before the end of the year. I know I make a lot of lists but the only major things I have in mind over the next two months are:
Seeing as though I seem to be more in love with Karl than ever, I decided to take a friend's advice and contact Mobile Tradition as to Karl's history. I sent them an email which contained Karl's VIN number (chassis and engine number) and this is what I got in return.
"The BMW 2002A RHD (right hand drive with automatic transmission) VIN number 4270915 was manufactured on May 5th, 1975 and delivered on May 27th, 1975 to the importer BMW Australia Pty. Ltd. in Prahran, Victoria. The original color was Golf, paint code 070."
So now I know Karl's birthday and that he is a taurus just like me! I think this is pretty kick ass, even if it only lists when it was manufactured and delivered. I might try and contact the place in Victoria to see if they can tell me who the buyer was, or at least when he left the lot.
November 23 Karl's LifeEverybody needs to chill
Player haters want to see him killed
Only real cars stay on top
All these other owners are mad as shit cause they can't live like Karl
It started with an accident, never dropped the other driver
Never figured that car could look so good afterwards
Hit the roads like a mad man, nothin but speed
Workshop visits got me facin multiple digits!
Dodgin cop cars, look at how we come so far
Picture a 31 year old shitbox rollin down the yard
Garage full of car parts
Tail lights and oil plus more
He's the local hero
Try to show him up!
Never visioned he'd live past his 21st
Thought he would be broke down, rusted out, or in the dirt
And though it hurts to see a scratch
It all comes with the fame
Watch for the gospel
In this silly game - GAME!
To all the meatballs speakin down on him
This is the song!
Why is everybody caught up in Karl's life?
This is Karl's life and everybody needs to chill
Cause this is Karl's life
Player haters want to see him killed
Karl's life
Only real cars stay on top
Now all the other owners are as mad at me cause they can't live
like Karl
October 23 We Have Lift Off! - REPRISED NOV. 15, 2006Oh my goodness! I am so excited! It is exactly two weeks until I finish college, I still have to make up that one class next year, but holy shit, it's time to go crazy! I look at Karl everyday and count down the hours before he can get the majority of his work done over the summer. I still have a ton of money thanks to Hooters, my tax return for this year, my current job, and boyfriend doing little jobs on Karl that would cost me.
Have you noticed how much I like to make lists for things that Karl needs? Well, here comes another one. This should all be done by the end of next January and believe me, since I'll be doing nothing but work, and I can walk to work, Karl's stuff will get done in no time. So here it is, the updated list along with the maximum amounts that I'd like to pay for each:
1) Hood resprayed - $400
2) Rust in driver's side (Australian driver's side - right side of car) floor cut out and replaced - $200
3) I'm gonna get the dash cracks fixed regardless if it has to be taken out or not - $700
4) I'm going to enquire about getting the door panels reskinned. If it's a good price, Karl can have both the dash and doors done.
a) DASH - $700 b) DOORS - $600 c) for both = $1,300 5) Source out and come to a conclusion on what's to be done with the engine eg. find out everything it needs for a rebuild or buy one already rebuilt
a)NEW ENGINE - $2,500 b)PARTS - $1,500 6) Consider getting Bilstein shocks (front and back) and corresponding springs - $1,200
7) Back speakers - $200
And so on... As you can see, there are a number of combinations I can do with those estimated figures. Lucky for me, I can also get discounts by being in the BMW club as well as having sources associated with where boyfriend works. But man, I kind of got blown away just by some of the estimated outcomes I got. In this case, just like what my dad keeps drilling into my head, it would be more practical to buy another car. I'm sure some of you who have gone through all or some of these processes can relate. It's time for a change and you'd better believe you'll be updated as soon as I get started!
REPRISED NOV. 9, 2006
Nuts to buying a separate engine! I have decided after discovering last night that boyfriend is an Indian Giver with his engine, that I would like to keep Karl's chasse and engine numbers the same. So, good new, all I need now are:
And here's hoping I don't need new pistons! This will lower the cost significantly but still unfortunitely won't be cheaper than buying boyfriends Bertie engine for $500. I'm sure I'll thank myself later. In other news, I think that I will mainly concentrate on getting the engine done. If there is any money left, I will get the hood resprayed and think about doing the dash for the next big project. Get set, I'm pretty excited!
REPRISED AGAIN NOV. 15,2006 This is hopefully the final call. Scrap everything about rebuilding the engine. After spending the past three days looking for a simple 121 cylinder head for the BMW 2002, I have found an engine instead. The engine is being sold through the BMW Club NSW for $500, apparently, according to the owner, it "ran really well before taking it out". Let's hope he's right. This engine which is fortunite for me, is out of a 2002 which was made in the same year as Karl - 1975, so at least the engine number will be close to that of Karl's original one. And the engine will be the same age so it would be build for Karl's specific year group and classification. Either tomorrow or Friday, we'll go and have a look at it and put a deposit down. We will then hopefully pick it up by next weekend and give it a rebuild - change gaskets including the head gasket, change the piston rings, and give it a quick clean and possibly a spray on the rocket cover. After taking Karl's stock engine out, I will give it the once over so I can determine what to do with the engine block. Hopefully it is not cracked or leaking. If the engine block is worth keeping, later on down the track, I would like to use the cylinder head off the other engine along with the new rings and put it back on Karl's original engine block so I can keep the engine number he was made with, which was one of the main reasons I wanted to do a rebuild in the first place. All I am really interested in now is getting an engine that runs right, no lumps, and I can rely on. Getting Karl back to stock will come second and of course, all of this planning is kept in mind for the "ideal situation". Again, let's hope nothing goes wrong. In other news, it wasn't just because my current piston rings are in need of changing as to why I could smell fuel all of the time. I found a large oil spill on the road yesterday where I had Karl parked for a few minutes. Thinking this was from my car, I checked Karl's oil, water, and transmission fluid only to be relieved as it wasn't from Karl. So with the hood up, I started the engine and to my horror, I saw large amounts of fuel spraying out of one of the carburettor lines. HOW LONG HAD THIS BEEN A PROBLEM?! I distinctly remember it had been awhile but again, thought nothing of it as I had believed it was coming from the worn out piston rings. So I now know where the puddles under Karl were coming from, that were under there in the mornings (originally thought it was from the tranny fluid). A quick adjustment of the hose proved that it was almost ready to pop off. So it was really no big deal when attempting to fix this problem. So now, hopefully my fuel will last longer and I won't get a head spin everytime I go for long rides. Thank goodness this girl knows how to turn a screw driver! The next time I have to update this entry will hopefully be when the engine is bought and about to be put in. October 02 I'll Show You Mine If You Show Me Your'sIf you are coming from the faq, you've probably already read all this. But if you are still interested, please by all means, read on.
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Well, well, well. It sure has been awhile. There are quite a few things that I should have been updating, but you know, time slips away from us all and then before you know it, it's the end of the year. So, remember the last entry, "July Organization"? Let me simply update on you the things I haven't done yet:
In fact, why don't you enjoy the pictures I took of the process now. Before After
So that happened over a period of two weeks. It took that long because, well, remember all the way back last year in November when I thought I had a blown head gasket and I took it to Midas to get checked. Remember how they said I didn't have a blown head gasket? THEY WERE WRONG! So basically, Karl had a blown head gasket for nine months. Needless to say, now to add to my "July Organization" list, Karl needs:
Why? Because the head is corodid. Poor Karl. I did weep for him tonight. He's had it tough and everybody keeps telling me his a piece of shit. Well, I guess that would be why I'm trying to fix him up, now wouldn't it? Geniouses! In other news, boyfriend just purchased a 2002 of his own! It is a 1973 BMW 2002 in red and manual all the way up from Victoria! He bought the car off eBay and the previous owner named him "Bertie". Unfortunately, Bertie just like Karl, needs some work. But lucky for Karl, Karl might inherate Bertie's engine soon! So what happens to Bertie's engine? Bertie might be getting an M42 put in. And for those of you who aren't familiar with BMW engines, it's out of a 318is (fuel injected). It's a 1.8 liter, four cylinder engine, twin cam. It's bigger than an M10 which is what the 2002's have in them, and a little heavier. This could be quite the challenge he is looking for, when and if he ever gets bored with Karl, but that won't be anytime soon, so production on Bertie hasn't even been planned yet! I almost forgot to mention. Before Karl got his Weber transplant, I got another tattoo. Now, as I've always said, "three" is my favorite number and I wanted my third tattoo to be extra special. It was a toss up between:
The outcome looks something like this: So now me and Karl have matching tattoos! I love showing other BMW 2002 drivers. They at least understand. In the second week, I also got a job at the only Hooters in Australia. It opened on July 14th. I was there for two and a half months before I realized that it wasn't really taking me anywhere. It was a very stressful job and was only fun and entertaining for about two seconds which is about the length of the attention span of the girls who work in there. I have recently come to the conclusion that since I'm with Vince, I no longer need men to look at me the way they did in there, so I resigned. I hope that place goes out of business. They'll soon realize I was the only one who worked there who understood the simple concept that 2+2=4. Sorry, this is something I don't have pictures of. I did, but then I found out that you can only have pictures taken within the restaurant. Oh well, their loss. To end this joyious occasion of me finally updating my site, I have a few minor things that I would like to report.
And now, I will leave you with a few shots of boyfriends's "Bertie" car. Note that one of the first things that was done was to remove the black spray paint from the chrome on the grille. Why do previous owners go all out and make these cars look so Euro trashed? Still with the stock Solex double barrel carburettor
This is what the grilles looked like before we removed the paint
The end result shows that they turned out really well!
From behind
There is plenty more to come on both Karl's and Bertie's progress. But seeing as Karl comes from New South Wales (the state I'm in) and Bertie comes from Victoria (the state below us), there is only one thing to do to determine which car is the greatest. The State of Origin of "2002"'s!
Almost forgot! Look out for badass Karl and his new license plates. Mechandise is coming soon as well.
July 07 July OrganizationSo, it's past the half way marker for the year 2006. I will now post a list of things that need to be done to Karl. In my mind, I'd like to have all of these completed by the end of the year. This means I have 5 months to save up approximately $3,000 which I think is a good amount to toss up in the air as a ballpark figure.
Some of these things I'd like to have done sooner than the end of the year, so I'll post some dates along with them. Check back now and then to see if they have been completed. I might do the same and hope for the best in the meantime :)
Goodo. That just about does it. See you at the end of the year! June 29 The Golf AnniversaryToday is me and Karl's two year anniversary. So to mark this special occassion, in the future, whenever I have a two year anniversary, I shall call it the "golf anniversary" on Karl's behalf because he's golf yellow.
I've left Karl's original eBay listing for those who are interested. Karl will be getting many presents in the near future such as:
1) Rego tomorrow
2) A new center console (finally going to the wreckers)
3) A replacement carby
4) And a new back roundel and chrome stripping. Hopefully this will be done before the German Auto show which is in October.
I'll also be attempted to pull out the heater box to clean it sometime next week. Check back for further updates!
Below is when Karl was listed for sale on Australian eBay. It appears the previous owner lied about such things as:
1) Carby overhaul
2) New tires (the ones I had before were around 15 years old and were two different sets and sizes)
3) Ball joints (still terrible)
4) Reupholstered seats (ha!)
But all in all, Karl has been good to me and even though the previous owner lied about these things, Karl still lives on and will for a long, long time while he's still mine.
 June 04 Introducing....Karl's home! Holy shit, you wouldn't think this was the same car two weeks ago. Karl got the works, rust removal, paint touch ups, body building, front nose strip replacement, some chrome strips were replaced, and most of all, he got a set of new tires today. So now, I owe my dad approximately $1,200 for all of this. Time for some "before and after"!
Before
After
Before
After
Before
After
Before
After
Before
After
Before
After
Before
After
The paint work that had been done for Karl was only set at $500 still, but my dad insisted in tipping the guy because he did a really, really good job and did everything in his spare time, fair enough. However, my dad wanted to tip an extra $300 to make the total $800 but gave him an extra $100 by mistake. Excellent, another $100 I'll have to wait another week to make! Then the tires cost $300 which was an excellent price too. So all in all, I could have bought a used car for what has been spent on Karl so far this year. Let us recap:
$1,048.80 for the transmission
$ 900.00 for the body work
$ 300.00 for new tires
+_________________
$2,248.80 in total from May to June
Don't forget rego is due by the end of the month. Let me see what I can add on to this cost:
$226.00 for actual registration
$429.50 for compulsory third party insurance
$486.56 for third party property damage
+______________________________
$1,142.06 for rego due June 30th
Well shit, last year I had to pay around $1,150.00 so I just saved an extra $7.94 because I turned 21 this year. I only have around $500 in both my bank accounts at the moment. I hate this time of year and you can see why.
May 18 So Much For the Plastic SurgeryKarl is back home! I'm so happy! He runs like a dream now and finally, I've taken him to the mechanic and got him back in better working order. Karl now runs transmission wise, 100%, however, they rescrewed the exhaust on too high, so when I start Karl, it knocks on the bumper, but other than that, oh man, look out!
Here is my tax invoice:
Putting it up obviously saves me typing what all was done and the costs. I have to admit, this was pretty expensive compared to what i was hoping, so unfortunitely, because of this, the paint job will have to wait until I get my tax back in mid July. And in case you didn't know, I'll be getting approximately $4,500 back which is more than enough to get the paint along with reskinning the dash done.
Now you are up to date and after a week and one day, Karl has returned home safely to me. I even washed him as soon as I got home. Now sitting out all night might prove fatal! I currently only have $15 in my bank account and I still owe the mechanic $200 exactly. Once I pay that, I'll only have $400 to my name. But again, I'll reinforce the fact that I will not have to be a tight ass for much longer! Stay tuned! May 05 Krazy Karl Krisis!Both my mechanic (licensed one) and Karl broke my heart today. Karl's got 2 months until rego is due and I may now be up for spreading out a payment of approximately $2,000 over this time just so he can pass. Well, it will take around $500 to get the body work done and then he'll pass, but the rest is just to make him safer for me.
It all began when I predicted that Karl's suspension was going down hill. This was because everytime I hit a pothole in the road, I got sea sick. So, I booked Karl into my BMW mechanic (licensed one) to get a synopsis on the complete suspension seeing as I didn't want to miss anything. I didn't get a call back from him for the whole day and I figured
1) He's lost my number
2) Karl's really bad
3) Work has been started without my consent
Number two was the go this time. It was very hard for me not to start crying at work when I heard the news. From what I can remember, this is everything that is wrong:
This picture has been a problem since I got my car.
These pictures are a result of the truck driver. The majority of the places where I was swiped are dented. These pictures do not highlight that very well however. So when I went to pick up my car today after work, it was even harder for my not to cry again when the mechanic was explaining everything in more detail. But later, when I heard him staring Karl's engine in the distance, I felt much better. Unfortunitely, I would have really liked the mechanic to start fixing the transmission but his club (he owns his own club, http://www.peakautomotive.com.au/) was scheduled to race all the next day, so no go there. He also implied that it was a good idea to get the body work fixed before I go and spend money on the other stuff seeing as my car might not pass rego because of the rust. I found this to be a very sensible suggestion, so now, I've got plans for the next two months.
When I get my letter in the mail which covers the full synopsis of what's wrong with the under body of Karl from Peak Performance, I'll be calling up the guy we originally bought the car off of. He's an excellent and cheaper alternative and is my unlicensed mechanic. But believe me, when I say unlicensed, I don't mean he doesn't know shit either, he just works in his back yard. Just like me, he finds Karl a pleasure to work on and I cannot blame him for that.
Tomorrow Karl is getting his body work inspected by the guy who fixed him after the Boxing Day Accident, 2004.
I took Karl everywhere under the sun to try and get an estimate for the damage in that photo. Every place I went either said it's going to be a write off or it's going to cost over $3,000 to do. But luckily for me, our next door neighbor has a cousin in the panel beating industry. A couple of months later, my car was on the way to recovery and it only set my dad back $1,200. Not bad! You can read my story on the accident at: http://www.geocities.com/nermal4371/Lottery_Page.html
So last year when the truck driver struck, the same repairer said he'd charge $500 to do the entire area where the car was hit. He also said he'd fix up any rusty spots, and fix the nose where the bog has cracked. Now seeing as this was last year, I hope things haven't changed too much as the rust has progressed a little bit.
So now, Karl is on the fast track to major work that I was actually putting off until the end of the year. After Karl's body work gets done, and I hope it gets started tomorrow, it will be time to call my backyard guy and get the other things done. April 17 Paparazzi Strikes Again - Biscuit Style!Yesterday when I was minding my own business, Biscuit, my cat, seemed to have attracted a few local spies. I got these photos sent to me via email and have been instructed to post them up on my website along with detailed captions or "catsions" as they described them, to go along, otherwise, she gets it. Well, to tell you the truth, I don't know exactly what she'll get but judging by me watching Looney Tunes over the years, when a gangster says "gets it" that means a bullet to the head and really, Biscuit doesn't deserve that seeing as she's just a cat. So, here's what the mob told me to post and what to say.
Here, Biscuit is cleaning herself. Biscuit is left handed so it's very unusual for her to be using her right paw to clean. She seems to be enjoying this....
In this shot, Biscuit has now switched to her left paw, but she is caught here doing what seems to be "biting her fingernails". Looks like she's got dinner on her mind.
This is when Biscuit almost blew our cover. She's gone back to her right paw and seems to be looking directly into the camera's lens. Something funny is going on. Is Biscuit right or left handed? You be the judge.
Biscuit's gone back into action here without a care in the world. Again, right paw is being used. Whilst taking this shot, Biscuit is quoted to be saying "Man, I feel like Pizza Hut".
Our cover is almost blown again. Biscuit realized what was going on. She's looking very guilty. Whether it's over pretending to be left handed or muttering about wanting pizza, you decide.
She quickly forgets her troubles and ponders a future when Science diet offers a meal of pizza, potato chips, and chick peas.
This dream is not in the distant future. Biscuit is using her left paw again when she begins to think about eating. It's not long before Biscuit becomes misty about the whole ordeal. Dinner time was approximately 4 hours away when this shot was taken.
Biscuit is trying her hardest to give us the middle finger here. Seeing as she has webbed paws, this was virtually impossible for her to do. At the same time, she says, quote, "I knew you were there all along. And for the record, I'm left handed!"
It was at the same time when we got this little beauty. It's Biscuit's owner, Ashleigh. Unfortunitely, our plans were foiled again seeing as though she is posing for this picture and is looking quite lovely at the same time. Round of applause for her.
As this was the only oportunity we could spy on Asho, we learnt that her favorite color is red, just like Biscuit, she was hungry at this time as well, and one day she dreams of having a car in which can stomp loserly drug addicts.
February 03 White People Are Not RacistIs it just me or is the statement, "white people aren't racist" ring true? So why is it that people brand whities as being the bad guys? Who can say?
Why are blacks so hesitant to:
1) Become friends with whities
2) Date a whitey
3) Admit that whities are just as good as they are
Yeah, alright, so black people kick ass at sports like sprinting and basketball but of course, there's a very valid reason for that. Heaven forbid they become friends with whities. Whities try so hard to make amends with them over what happened in the past but we still got fuckwits like 50 cent and the old "I'm pretty sure he's dead but where are all of these new songs coming from?" Tupac, who bitch and moan about how hard their lives are because they come from the "ghetto" and had to raise themselves on guns and watermelon. Guess what assholes, whities are over it, why aren't you?
So after they've made their millions on their premire "album" which speaks to so many broke down, dumbasses and encourages them to hate and wonder why they can't get a real job, they still complain about how they had to "pop a cap in a whitey's ass" because of the "disrespect". Yeah, I'm sure it's soooo hard owning a Hummer, living in a mansion next to that fat ass, Paris Hilton, and never having to do a day of real work or understand what it is living in the real world. Way to go morons, keep complaining, I'm sure you'll be able to buy the world one day and still bitch about how the whities already fucked it up.
Here in Australia, or should I say New South Wales which is the state I'm living in, they have problems when other races go bad. For example, let's rehash the Cronulla Race Riots of December, 2005. I heard from one of my muslim friends that on their Arabic radio station, they claim that the reason the Leb got into a fight with the Australian surf lifesaver was and I quote:
"The surf life saver located on North Cronulla beach asked his fellow worker why the two women the Lebanese male was with, were wearing the tradtional head scarfs associated with their religion. After all, it is the beach, it is summertime, and most Australians associate the beach with other Australians and do not realize that sometimes other cultures like to visit as well, not taking any sides here or anything.
"Doing what males do best, this particular Leb got pissed off and decided to do his specialty which is to beat up the life saver for "being disrepectful".
That's what the Arabs claim happened on that day that sparked what may be associated with as one of the greatest modern day revolutions Australia has had in a long time.
Well what do you know?! Do these guys realize that if a whitey went to Lebanon or one of those other Arab nations and wore at tank top and shorts that they would get ridiculed? Muslims should be so lucky that they are allowed into developed countries and wear what they want to without being stoned to death.
Anyway, back to the Cronulla situation. According to the whitey's side of the story, the same Lebanese male and his accomplises were calling girls lying on the beach "sluts" and "whores" because their clothing was not up to these facists' code of conduct. Somewhere along the line, this guy got pissed off when the same surf lifesaver previously mentioned, asked him to leave because of his behavior, as well as the Leb wanting to be a useless fuck and move around the flags in which distinguish safe and unsafe water. Again, this is really high order thinking going on here. I wonder if their brightness changes with the season?
So now that the Leb has proven himself as a real man, he then decided to do what he obviously does best which is punch the sixteen year old lifesaver in the face and start a fight which over the next week, resulted in starting a riot.
During the riot, police seemed very hesitant to arrest anybody other than whities and the funny thing was, the police were whities! I honestly cannot say which side of the story is correct, but I have a feeling, for this one, I'm going to stick to my own race's side because it seems more plausible that some moron like this would do such a thing because it happens all the time. Either way, it's still the Lebs fault because I believe that whities have more common sense than to just walk up to someone and start punching them because they've said the wrong thing. The question is, why wasn't he arrested? Why were only the whities arrested that day? Could it be so that the government here wouldn't want to further piss off these other people and keep the peace while they throw loads of garbage out of their cars whilst driving on the highway and sell drugs in order to buy nice houses?
Whenever you try and apply for a job that claims it's an equal opportunity employer and you're a whitey yourself, you'd better not get your hopes up too high. That label means that unless you either:
1) Come from another country
2) Speak another language
3) Have a skin color other than white
your shit will not get hired. Why is it so hard for people who were born in this country but have family members from other cultures, to admit that they are fucking Australian? You hear it all the time, "yeah, I'm Italian, but I was born here". Well then there you go asshole, that means and you guessed it, you're a fucking Australian! Say it with me now - Au-Stral-ian, way to go!
If I was in charge of this country and I heard them saying that shit, I'd say "thank you very much, you can go back to your shithole country, and well, you're not Australian anymore, so I'll just be taking that passport. You're so proud of what you are, fucking go back, nobody wants you here". People saying that shit have it too easy. So while they listen to their Tupac and pronounce his name incorrectly, they could actually realize that it's all on a silver plater for them and that no, white people are not racists, it's their shit that is.
July 19 This is Biscuit(In order to get the full effect of these precious words, keep in mind that I have written them to go along to the tune of "I'll Be Watching You" by the Police.)
My kitty is here
She's got a tat in her ear
Though I love her so
Everyday will grow
This is Biscuit
I remember the day
She came from the RSPCA
She's got a litter box
Got no need for clocks
This is Biscuit
Oh can't you see, this is her and this is me
The poor carpet's got a hole in it I'll bet
She likes to eat
Hates it when you touch her feet
Her collar's got a bell
And I think she's swell
This is Biscuit
She once ran away
I cried all that day
This is Biscuit
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